Snow joke!

Well this was what greeted us when we awoke thursday morning...a complete winter wonderland with 5 inches of snow! I then recieved a phone call and a text from both my work places saying they were closed so i had a snow day! :D

In all the years i have lived in eastleigh we have never EVER had this much snow and also i think the last time we had snow actually in December was more than 20 years ago. It was so nice to go out and enjoy the snow (apart from when i fell over...) and even better when i got another phone call saying the schools were to remain closed so i got two days off work in total :)

Levels were acting strange due to the cold weather as well...lower than usual and i remember one day where i didnt take any of my fast acting insulin.. :o

So the snow days wer cool....but then it all turned to slush and ice at the weekend...pissed down with rain and now its all gone and life returns to normal :(

Ah well it was nice when it lasted and hope you all enjoyed it :)

A Little Bit Longer Music Video

Wow i heard this song for the first time yesterday and i would think it very hard for anyone suffering an incurable disease not to cry to this....Written by the jonas brothers after brother Nick was diagnosed with type one diabetes :(

The diabetes prayer...

So i was looking through the diabetes uk facebook page the other day, looking for anything that would remotely cheer me up.. and came across a post from Zara Haram and it did just that and so i share with you....

THE DIABETES PRAYER

Our banting that art with best,
hallowed be thy insulin.
Our hypos come...thy glucogen,
on the shelf that art in fridge.
Give us this day our pump.
Forgive us these cakes as we forgive who made them.
Lead us not into hospital, but deliver us from DKA.
Yours is the blood test, the HBA1C,
forever and ever,
Insulin pen.

Brilliant Zara you really cheered me up with this - i thank you x

Bad blogger..!!

I hav'nt given up on my blog, i have just been having some tough times as of late...no change there i guess!

So a quick update.....turns out my body doesnt just lack insulin, it also lacks red blood cells! so yeh a recent blood test shows i am anemic and i am taking iron tablets (when i remember..) to combat this...more medication whoopee!!

As for diabetes control i started off well a couple of weeks ago with good readings all day and eating relatively well...then last week it all went totally wrong!!sort of gone to pot a little this week but i shall be better next week hopefully be back on the straight and narrow!

One bit of exiting news is that in the next week i shall become an auntie to a little girl :) (already one day overdue but we are hoping she will arrive soon)

As for me i have been feeling crappy all week due to an icky cold i have picked up which is making my levels a little erratic and also making the syatica play up more than usual. Also due to my day off last week i am already down 60 quid in my december pay packet...so looks like christmas will be celebrated in january next year...

I am trying to think positive about everything i really am its just so hard when u have had so much shit all through your life and nothing good seems to happen...ever! i just need a break...something good to happen is that too much to ask really?

Well thanks for reading and lets hope the next week brings good things (see thinking positive!)

xx

What a difference a millimetre makes..!!

So i had a major mishap last week where my blood sugars were going absolutely mental and i had no idea why! i was eating the same things and injecting the appropriate amounts of insulin yet my pre-meal readings were ridiculously high and despite adding on a correction, the reading was even higher 4 hours after eating! I saw readings of about 15 every day and at one point i think i had to give myself a 16 unit correction just to get below 10mmols! I couldnt understand it so phoned my nurse (about 3 hours after she said she wud call me back..straight away) >:( she suggested that my honeymoon period may have ended and advised me to take extra insulin..which i did and saw no improvent...by wednesday i was pretty ill and had to take the day off work which i didnt want to have to do but i could not work as i was.

The next evening i was out having lunch and realised i had forgotten to pack any needles....um i know bad!! desprately reaching the the bottom of my bag i found one of my old 6mm needles and had to use that.....and hey presto 2 hours later i was hypo!!

So all that hassle just because of 1mm of a needle, i couldnt belive it, obviouslt with my insulin ratios changing the 5mm needles werent delivering the insulin deep enough and so it was like it wasnt working!

So things are sorted now and i am feeling myself again....bit annoyed i now have to use the longer needles but hey i havent really got a choice :)

30 things you may not know.....

Well apparently it is invisible illness awareness week! I diabetes is definately an invisable illness....you cant see it in me...and i certainly dont look ill as many people say once they find out..its one of those illnesses where the pain is on the inside and no one really fully understands it or what you have to deal with emotionaly as well as physically...so anyway i have seen this on a few blogs so thought i would also post my contribution to the 30 questions meme :)

Here goes....

1. The illness I live with is: Type one diabetes

2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 21-02-10

3. But I had symptoms since: only a week before!

4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: my diet...and wardrobe :( oh yea and sticking myself with a needle 5 times a day for the rest of my life

5. Most people assume: that i cant have sugar!

6. The hardest part about mornings are: testin my blood sugar to find out if today will be a good day or a horriffic day, wondering if im going to break another tooth or when my back pain is going to kick in!

7. My favorite medical TV show is: dont really watch them

8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: diabetes related - my contour usb, non diabetes related - my blackberry :)

9. The hardest part about nights are: tryin to kick my late night munchies habit and going to bed on normal levels

10. Each day I take __ pills & vitamins. (No comments, please) just the one pill

11. Regarding alternative treatments I: I think they are a load of bollox and people who promote them shoud all go and jump off a bridge! oh yes drink this magical potion of fish oils and grapefruit and you will be cured!!

12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: well i would prefer to choose neither but i guess invisible..

13. Regarding working and career: doesnt tend to effect me even though the jobs i have are fairly demanding.

14. People would be surprised to know: that most people i look at..i envy....i envy their freedom and the fact they can do what they want without a care in the world and not having to think about or deal with the consequences...and it makes it worse when i think that i was once like them...

15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: Accepting the fact that i have this for life and its not going away..there will never be a day off from this illness and i can never get away from it.

16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: inject myself...i think that was the initial feeling of shock upon diagnosis..i hated needles!! also getting my tattoo i dont think i would of had the incentive to get it done :)

17. The commercials about my illness: get turned off...just makes me think that i caused it with my poor lifestyle and diet...erm no actualy i got a stuid virus that was not my fault!

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: buying a £4 pik n mix and eating it throughout the day lol

19. It was really hard to have to give up: snacking throughout the day....i used to graze on food and not really have a square meal

20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: blogging :)

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: have what i want, when i wanted it

22. My illness has taught me: to appreciate the little things in life and what you have becoz u never know when it could be taken away from you

23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: "are you allowed that"? "should you be having/doing that"? Argh! oh and the classic..."i wouldnt be able to do that" ummm well if you want to live you would!

24. But I love it when people: treat me like a normal person and dont miss me out when passing round something sugar-laden :)

25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: "that which doesnt kill us, makes us stronger"

26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: that they are not alone

27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: life goes on..iv been through an awful lot and think i have become stronger and accomplished things that i didnt think i could do

28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: visit me in hospital and brought me a ton of magazines to read and a very heartwarming letter :)

29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: i think people need to become more aware of these illnesses and become more educated so that they can better understand them

30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: like im not alone and i have raised some sort of awareness to someone

:)

same old story....

Finally back on the internet - stupid Virgin Media!!

Cant belive its september already....been back at work now for two weeks and its actually good to get back into the work routine and doing some much needed exercise haha!

I have found my ratios have changed and i now need alot more insulin than i used to....even foods that have no carbs i need some insulin for...i think my honeymoon period may be finally over :( have been having alot more hypers lately but i am eating alot better i think.

Things were going well..until today..went to the docs as my back has started to play up again and turns out i have a syatic nerve which is causing me alot of pain all day and night! Well he also said that the diabetes may be contrubuting towards it and wants me to do blood tests next week to find out and then i may be reffered to a physiotherapist :(

So once again just when things have been going ok for me, iv been kicked to the ground again! im trying to be positive i really am just its hard when things like this happen on top of everything else im having to deal with already

Time flies.....

Well its been 6 months today since the big D....not quite sure how i feel except a little sad and thinking about my old life...even though i know i shouldn't as this makes me more sad..!

So i am being positive now...i think i have accomplished a fair bit in my first 6 months. i have learnt to carb count, work out ratios - including setting my basal rate and splitting it, inject and test regularly - also in public, and got a fairly decent AIC result :) i have dealt with a fair few emotions and managed to come to terms with my diagnosis, i have educated others about diabetes and hopefully have raised some awareness that was not there before, i have even had the privilege of meeting some lovely fellow diabetics and hope to meet many more along the way :) i have had some good days and some awful days and i am continuing to learn more and more each day.

I have a great support group online as well as my friends and family and i dont know what i would do without them. The support group have helped me soo much in these 6 months, answering every question i have had, big or small and whatever time and i am just so lucky to have people who help and more importantly understand. My friends and family have been fab and although sometimes they dont fully understand the illness and what im going through, they stick by me and support me no matter what i am am really thankful to have such lovely people in my life :)

So im going to admit that i havent been the best diabetic these past few weeks, my levels have been...ok i think i need to sort my evening ratios out a little as i always seem to end the day above 10 and have to correct before bed. But i think this is all to do with me being off for the 6 weeks summer holidays as i have not been at work, therfore not active at all really, and totally out of routine! not been eating the best things and slipping back into my old habits :( I think things will start to improve when i go back to work and settle back into my old routine, infact im sure they will!

Well..6 months gone...lets see what the next 6 will bring :)

Worth it... :)

1 hour and 20 mins of pain....and here is the result!

I never thought i would be brave enough to get a tattoo! i had always wanted one but never got the courage to go through with it and i cant belive i did it!

I was shaking like a leaf when i went, had butterflies and was so nervous...i felt a little better however as my wifey came with me, even though they didnt let her actually come with me (not too happy about that) she waited for me in the shop for 2 hours bless her!

The tattoo itself i am soo pleased with, it means so much to me as it has the date i was diagnosed and also the diabetes ribbon encorporated into the centre! the guy who did it was really nice and reassuring, always asking if i was ok and chatting away to me, he asked about my diabetes and i told him the story and he just made me feel really at ease :)

And the big question your all asking...did it hurt? in a word....YES! lol but as the title says it was sooo worth it!

I would like to say a massive thankyou to Sue, as without her i would not have been able to have this done :)

Putting faces to names!

Well on saturday i swapped my usual lazy, lie in with a hangover sort of day, and got up super early to catch the train! Why u ask? to meet some fabulous people from the diabetes forum of course!

It was a great day , i met with shiv, duane, and tom at the train station and we headed down towards the good old weatherspoons where alan, amy, sam and a few others were waiting!

Nice day, had some yummy food and went on to walk the southampton walls and ended up in a nice little pub :)

It was soo nice to meet all the people that had helped me through the tough time when i was first diagnosed, and lovely to put some faces to the names on the forum! I am very much looking forward to the next one and perhaps meeting even more people :)

Not many photos taken but the one above features all us stuffing our faces :D

hard to say goodbye....

Long time no blog!

Emotional week this week as all the children at pre-school are growing up and are now leaving to go to the infant school in september :( am gonna miss all of them sooo much, the two years i have known them all has been brilliant and some of them being my key children makes it even more difficult to say goodbye :(

We had the leavers presentation/fun day today, parents brought in pressies, and flowers galore and all the children were dressed up and looked fab! was a really good, but emotional day i think most of the staff were welling up including myself...so now my cupboard is full of chocolates and i am wishing i was not diabetic lol.

Things are starting to look up :)

Im really looking forward to going back in september as i managed to get myself a job :) its just cleaning but it could not be more perfect...its an hour and a half a day and starts straight after i finish my pre-school work so it will just be like working a normal week and i still get my weekends! And to top all of this off i got a pay rise which will start as of september woohoo so hopefully all these money problems i have been having will be behind me :D

Not only this but as i have finished work for the summer...6 weeks!! i have managed to get myself a summer job covering staff holidays in a nearby nursery so that i keep busy and earn lots of money which is greatly needed!

I am so happy that things are starting to turn out for me finally after all my bad luck! i just have to keep optimistic about everything and hopefully nothing bad will come along and burst my bubble!!

Oh and powerwalking starts monday!!

Now for those chocolates...... :p

One of those days.........?

Arghhh!!

Quick rant i am so frustrated right now!

So after some really good levels and a good hba1c result my blood sugars just are not behaving today! i went to bed on 5.9 and woke up on 7.9 ??? had breakfast perfectly carb counted and also an extra unit to bring me back into range.. and four hours later i am still 10.3! WTF at this point i wanted to throw my meter out the window...:( not hungry at this point decide to have a late lunch (bar a handful of nuts inbetween) so check levels at half 3..6.5 a little better thankyou! bolused for some liz granola and low and behold four hours later....8.2 :'(

I know these levels arent like reaalllyy high but i just do not understand them! and it is so frustrating as i think im the one not being able to control it...is it just one of those days or have my requirements changed :(

Just a numbers game......

Got my very first HBA1C result.......*Drumroll*........ 6.7 :D

Needless to say very happy with that, shocked it was not higher! i really thought it would have been as only 4 months in to diagnosis and didnt think it would be well controlled...well its made me feel alot better and that i have some control i must be doing something right :)

So all this has got me thinking about numbers...i mean thats all diabetes is at the end of it all just a numbers game where you may win successfully...and also lose really badly! sometimes you may get lucky and other times you may not be so fortunate, and as for the prize at the end of the game? a better chance of living a happy and hopefully longer life even though we all should have been entitled to this anyway....so here are some numbers i have been thinking about relating to the 4 months i have been through on my diabetes journey so far...

2.5 - The millions of people diagnosed with diabetes in the uk alone

210210 - Date of my diagnosis

5 - Nights i had to endure in hospital

24 - My sugar levels that nearly sent me into a coma

540 - The number of times i have injected myself..tho posible its more

2.6 - The lowest reading on my meter...so far

4 - The number of packs of jelly babies/glucotab i have consumed for hypos

896 - The number of times my poor fingers have had to endure a finger prick

18.4 - The current highest reading on my meter

116 - The gramms of carbohydrates in a tub of my favourite ice cream!!


Those are just a few i can think of now, there is probably alot more i could write such as there is not even a number for the times i have been angry, upset or cried my eyes out because of having this stupid disease, the countless times i have thought about the possibility of developing complications late on in life...

So when we think about it...its all numbers...and here is another one:

17 days since i ordered my zebra stripe case!! Hurry up Bayer! :p

My new shiny thing!!

Woohoo it came last week! unfortunately me and my dad have not yet managed to get all the glucofacts working due to me not having a windows computer :( but should be up and running soon :) So here is a quick review:

Like a kid on christmas day when i unwrapped it and saw how pretty it was! sleek, slim and SHINY! as soon as i opened the box it told me to charge it in my usb port and a quick 2 hours later i was ready to go :) I use my multiclix fingerpricker all the time which is slightly larger than the one that comes with this meter but i prefer it every time, the pain with this one is that you have to carry lancets around with you (even though they are really cool muliticoloured ones) i just dont have the extra space! but i did try it and it was not painful and easy to do as well.

pretty straightforward - put the strip in, no coding and the device also has a handy port light if you need it for night testing (bonus points for bayer) really big, easy to read colour screen. before you receive your reading you have the option of selecting before and after meal - and can also add comments for readings like feeling sick, or exercise which i think is a really good little feature. After the 5 seconds your reading shows up massive for a few seconds before being logged in the logboook. The system will also flash a high or a low reading in a different colour, you can set these default high and low readings using the set up menu. You can also view your averages over 14 days by pushing the trends button on the very easy to use menu screen.

As an extra bonus when you register your meter you can get a free skin cover and also a zebra...yes thats zebra striped case as well as a free wall charger! Mine are all currently in the post :)

Using it in public is the biggest change for me, its very discreet and looks more like a funky mp3 player rather than a glucose meter!

Overall i am very impressed with this little miracle machine and would rate it a very respectable 9 out of 10 - just for the trouble i have been having getting the software to work, other than that its brilliant!

I want to finish this post with a big thanks to my dad who was the one who got me this meter...without him this post would not have been written :D

Guess who's back....

Well....this has been the image i have been greeted with every day for a month.....until today!! The internet technician geek decided to finally bloody turn up and fix our connection problem after two cancellations and a no show!! So i am back on the net and catching up on all me channel 4 od programs :D


Update: After posting about not being able to have the contour USB, my dad saw the post and has just informed me that one is in the post for me! Thank you dad!!! :D :D i cant wait to get it, and will post a review once i have had a play..!

Have my very first HBA1C coming up beginning of july...not sure what to expect but i think anything below 10 i will be happy with, i have been trying my best and i havent seen a high reading in a while...well when i have checked that is!

I hope everyone has been well in my absence....apparently i have ALOT of blog posts and forum threads to read...so i better get started hehe!

In the words of Tigger...Tata for now!
xx

I thought i would take this rare opportunity, (and by that i mean when the Internet is working for once) to write a quick post before it decides to shut down on me again!

After my meeting with the dsn i got a phonecall from her telling me she had phoned bayer to try to get me a free contour usb and they said....no :( but she did get me a free regular contour instead :) which i think isnt as good but i still really like it, probably because it is pink! :) need to get some strips for it and then i will post a review. I sooo want the usb i guess i will have to save up for it :(

On the upside i have been given 2 boxes of 4mm needles to try...yes thats 4mm! i have used them for the past couple of days and i love them! i never thought i would say that lol but those 2mm make such a difference and i dont fear my injections as much which has made it a little easier to deal with. i will post a thread about these on the forum because there are certain requirements of who can use the needles, and i know i wont be able to use them forever unfortunatly :(

Well i hope you have all had a good bank holiday and have enjoyed spending time away from work for an extra day (those of you that had it off that is)

I am going to admit something here...this past week iv not really been eating that well as i should be, i think i got a bit fed up of everything and just been eating what i want to eat....so after a few high readings and feeling like crap iv resolved to start taking better care of myself, eating the right things and taking a bit more control over everything! its hard at the moment as i am on half term and so having lie ins in the morning and eating at different times etc..i think it will be better when i go back to work next week.

Sunnn!

Wow this weekend if feels as if i have not been in England! what is up with our weather...not that i am complaining :) its been a good weekend of fun, drinking and sunshine! i have a brighter outlook on things and the weather is definitely contributing to how good i am feeling :) Apparently it was 27'C today and it felt like it too... a nice day of sunbathing today and yesterday has resulted in some brown bits...and some red bits :/ and more planned for tomoro yay!

Soo whats new..?

Well i had my appointment with the dsn and dietitian friday, and went well! they both said they were very impressed with what i was doing but they did say that i worry to much...about everything which is true on all levels lol! also i test too much and told me to only test before meals and bed which will save my fingers alot of unnecasary suffering :) Also have been told about some new 4mm needles which i can try as of next month :D not only that but they are getting me a bayor contour USB meter next month for free, i think i am lucky to have a good diabetes team supporting me!

I also was told to keep my breakfast ratio the same as it is in the day :S slightly worried about how this will turn out as i was doing 1:10 and they have told me to keep it 1:20 !! we shall see what happens there.....have to do another two weeks of food diarys for the dietitian to look at and then im going to have my first ever HBA1C which i am interested to see i think i will be happy if its below 10 :)

Well i hope you have all enjoyed the sunshine this weekend, i know i have :) One more week of work and then i am off for half term..lets hope the weather is nice :D

Until next post...x

Girls and boys - EAT YOUR CRUSTS!

I learned an important lesson today....i must eat my crusts :( i dont know why i dont actually i maybe think that they are just boring and tasteless, i sometimes leave them, i sometimes dont, i think it depends what mood i am in and how hungry i am :) well i now know i must eat them due to 3 hours after lunch being a not so good 2.6! i guess i left a fair bit of carb in those little buggers! My boss, being as amazing as ever got me to sit down and proceeded to get me my lucozade out of the cupboard (note to self - get a better flavoured lucozade!) So i am all good now but probably waaaay overcorrected :p

Right i am off to do some lines....i must eat my crusts...i must eat my crusts....maybe it will sink in this way!

Interesting....

Well despite having an icky cold my levels have been near perfect today, which is strange as i expected them to go right up due to me being unwell! :D i find it very strange! woke up on a nice 4.3 had breakfast which was scrambled eggs so no insulin taken, went to work and had a small snack around midmorning and by lunchtime i was 4.9! after lunch i didnt snack but at around 3pm i was a nice 4.3 so i had a rather sizable piece of birthday cake (birthday at work) i was going to bolus for it when i got home but totally forgot and fell asleep eeeeek!! woke up 3 hours later to a reading of 4.4! Totally confused with this one i think maybe the honeymoon period has something to do with it. (i know i probably spiked high within those few hours sleep but there was obviously something released to bring me back down) So was hungry when i woke up and had some dinner (prawn stirfry yum!) followed by a couple of biccies :) and now i am sitting at 5.7 all in all a good day :) well apart from this stinking cold! :(

Want to shout!

I posted this on a diabetes forum when i was having a tough day, i think i speak for all diabetics when i say that below are a list of things we want to shout out loud on a constant daily basis. It is hard for people who are not diabetic to fully understand what we all go through because you cant really see the pain, as it is on the inside. These things are seen as small to most but they the things we have to think about in order to not become seriously ill.

I want to be able to eat what i want, when i want without thinking about the effects!

i want to wake up in the morning without the first thought being "whats my blood sugar today?" 9.3 WTF!!

I want to be able to go out with my friends to eat and pick anything off the menu and eat whatever i choose until i am full to bursting!

I want to be able to go to bed without a care in the world....

I want to be able to look around my flat and not see that bottle of lucozade by my bedside and all my diabetes stuff on the floor

I want to be able to eat without going through a maths lesson, stabbing my finger and sticking myself with a needle!

I want to be able to go through a day without thinking about the complications i may get

I want to be able to eat chocolate and sweets until i feel sick

I want to be able to fit into my clothes again!

I want to be able to go out drinking and have a good time without constantly worrying if im gonna have a stupid hypo

I want to be normal.....just want to be me again

I do not want this stupid disease any more!!!

In public!

Just thought i would do this quick post!

I did my first injection today...in public! a crowded pub infact! i just thought screw it i'm gonna do this for the rest of my life i may as well get used to it so i did it, dint catch anyone looking and my friends who i was with were brilliant :)

Just hope those profiteroles dont come back to bite me in the bum later.....

A day in the life of......

7:15am - cue needle in the finger ouch! wait 3..2..1..... 4.9 :) or on a bad day 9!!

7:20am - calculate my breakfst carbs which is 2 slices bread = 34g carbs. insulin ratio is 1:10 so thats 3 units of novarapid insulin.

7:30 - First needle of the day and it hurts and bleeds...great! :(

7:50 - Eat breakfast and make lunch for the day

8:30 - Arrive at work to see lovely crossaints/cake/chocolates

someone has brought in for the staff.... :( do i really want to stick myself with another needle so i can have one? No thanks :(

9:00 - Second needle of the day 13 units levemir (background insulin) Bleeds...Grrr!!

10:00 - Prick of the finger to see how breakfast is going down 3...2....1.. 7.7 Goddammit!

12:20 - Another prick of the finger before lunch... 8.8! calulated carbs for lunch earlier 34g for sandwich and 20g apple, but now need to lower insulin dose so i can go to the gym after work so ratio 1:20 = 1.5 unit novarapid.

12:20 - 3rd needle of the day

12:35 - Lunchtime a, soo hungry and enjoy my sandwich and apple :) though could have done with some chocolate as im so used to :(

3:15 - End of work time and going to gym so another annoying finger prick ...10.2 High but needs to be so i can go to the gym as this makes me go lower.

3:45 - after half an hour working out another finger prick and..... 3.5 O crap!!!HYPO feeling shakey and unstable! treat with some glucotabs/jelly babies whatever i have to hand and check again 15 mins later, then have to have some carbohydrate to bring myself up so have not really burned off anything at the gym...again!!

4:30 - another half hour workout and walk back home and with another fingerprick.... 6.5

5:00 - starving after the gym dont want to mess up my levels so have a low carb snack like nuts/meat something like that

7:45 - Time to think about dinner which i decide is chicken stirfry yum! have to weigh out all the noodles to see the carbs in them and prepare everything beforehand. Comes to 50 carbs so thats 2.5 units insulin. Oh and not forgetting to fingerprick...again 3...2...1.. 6.5

8:00 - Fourth needle of the day in the stomach

8:20 - have dinner which was yummy (am discovering i can cook stuff) !!

9:00 - Fifth needle of the day - 13 units levemir (background insulin) in the thigh BRUISE!!

11:20 - Another finger prick (how many is that now? ) 5.4

11:20 - Need to be at least a 7 before i go to bed or i may hypo in the night...so have a few squares of 70% dark chocolate.

1-2am - One final finger prick.... 6.9

Goodnight....until tomoro where it starts all over again!

(and this was a good day)

21st February 2010....D-day

I was so confused laying on a hospital bed and being wheeled to intensive care...all i was hearing was this word 'Diabetes' I had heard of this word but did not know what it meant and was not aware of how this one little word was going to affect me for the rest of my life...

I had been feeling horrid all week! Drinking water and milk by the gallon and going to the toilet too many times to count, mouth was dry and sore throat, i had no appetite and had lost nearly a stone in weight...feeling very tired all the time and not wanting to move from my bed atall i had also been sick the previous day....what a way to end the great half term i was having. I put it down to a virus or a bug (i work with germ monst..sorry i mean children) and went to bed that friday night feeling like death.

Woke up on the saturday feeling even worse than the previous day. i made myself get up and dressed and felt so weak and tired, i knew something was wrong so i got my good friend to take me to A and E just to make sure i was ok. Got seen pretty quickly and done some tests and a discussion with the doctor led to him diagnosing me with 'Gastroitis' or something along those lines...basically severe indigestion. i protested alot as i knew it was more than that but i gave up and figured he was the doctor and he knew what was best, so took my gaviscon he gave me and went back home.

Woke up sunday midday...seriously not feeling good! i tried to get some food down me and also guzzled some lucozade for much needed energy boost (well so i thought at that time) By about 4pm i was feeling so weak i could not even stand up from my bed without holding onto something, my flatmate and our friend were in at the time (thank god) and this led to another trip to the hospital exept i had to be almost carried to the car this time as i could not even hold myself up..i remember falling asleep in the waiting room and then hearing my name being called to be seen...but not alot after that..

I think i managed to collapse in the corridoor and the next thing i remember was laying on a bed several nurses and doctors putting IVs and different tubes into me (including the doctor who misdiagnosed me) and hearing that word diabetes....

Woke up in intensive care with some family members by my side and in pain, attached to several drips including one that was pumping insulin into me like no tomoro! It was only later i understood what a bad state i was in. Apparently i got to the hospital at the right time as all my organs were starting to fail and i was very close to a diabetic coma!

I hated hospital with the daily injections you have to have, i had the works a drip in each arm, one massive hole in my neck with numerous stapled onto it and dangling things coming off it attaching me to various liquids, not to mention the catheter!

I couldnt belive this was happening, there had been no record of any diabetes in either side of the family and i just felt so angry and confused. I spent 3 nights in intensive care and a further 2 in a general ward learning about my life long condition and how to inject myself and about eating right and nutrition etc...got given a big box of goodies which included a blood glucose meter, a novapen and other bits and pieces essential to a diabetic. The only thing that kept me sane was the support i got from many friends and family during my stay and i would like to thank everyone for coming to visit me, i would not have got through it without you guys.

Finally i got to leave when they were happy that i could manage by myself, and so i left with various bruises, looking like something been bitten by dracula in a horror movie, i left scared, confused and angry that i now had a condition that would stay with me for my entire life...I had diabetes.

So this is me now...The human pin cushion...

New Blogger!

Hey everyone i thought i would give this blogging business a go as i am often sat at the computer bored out of my mind, and thought i would at least do something productive :) So here is my first ever post as a blogger. i will try to update often but cant promise a post every day as i am very forgetfull! I hope i will turn out to be a good little blogger :)

Nikki

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