I thought i would take this rare opportunity, (and by that i mean when the Internet is working for once) to write a quick post before it decides to shut down on me again!

After my meeting with the dsn i got a phonecall from her telling me she had phoned bayer to try to get me a free contour usb and they :( but she did get me a free regular contour instead :) which i think isnt as good but i still really like it, probably because it is pink! :) need to get some strips for it and then i will post a review. I sooo want the usb i guess i will have to save up for it :(

On the upside i have been given 2 boxes of 4mm needles to try...yes thats 4mm! i have used them for the past couple of days and i love them! i never thought i would say that lol but those 2mm make such a difference and i dont fear my injections as much which has made it a little easier to deal with. i will post a thread about these on the forum because there are certain requirements of who can use the needles, and i know i wont be able to use them forever unfortunatly :(

Well i hope you have all had a good bank holiday and have enjoyed spending time away from work for an extra day (those of you that had it off that is)

I am going to admit something here...this past week iv not really been eating that well as i should be, i think i got a bit fed up of everything and just been eating what i want to after a few high readings and feeling like crap iv resolved to start taking better care of myself, eating the right things and taking a bit more control over everything! its hard at the moment as i am on half term and so having lie ins in the morning and eating at different times etc..i think it will be better when i go back to work next week.


Wow this weekend if feels as if i have not been in England! what is up with our weather...not that i am complaining :) its been a good weekend of fun, drinking and sunshine! i have a brighter outlook on things and the weather is definitely contributing to how good i am feeling :) Apparently it was 27'C today and it felt like it too... a nice day of sunbathing today and yesterday has resulted in some brown bits...and some red bits :/ and more planned for tomoro yay!

Soo whats new..?

Well i had my appointment with the dsn and dietitian friday, and went well! they both said they were very impressed with what i was doing but they did say that i worry to much...about everything which is true on all levels lol! also i test too much and told me to only test before meals and bed which will save my fingers alot of unnecasary suffering :) Also have been told about some new 4mm needles which i can try as of next month :D not only that but they are getting me a bayor contour USB meter next month for free, i think i am lucky to have a good diabetes team supporting me!

I also was told to keep my breakfast ratio the same as it is in the day :S slightly worried about how this will turn out as i was doing 1:10 and they have told me to keep it 1:20 !! we shall see what happens there.....have to do another two weeks of food diarys for the dietitian to look at and then im going to have my first ever HBA1C which i am interested to see i think i will be happy if its below 10 :)

Well i hope you have all enjoyed the sunshine this weekend, i know i have :) One more week of work and then i am off for half term..lets hope the weather is nice :D

Until next post...x

Girls and boys - EAT YOUR CRUSTS!

I learned an important lesson today....i must eat my crusts :( i dont know why i dont actually i maybe think that they are just boring and tasteless, i sometimes leave them, i sometimes dont, i think it depends what mood i am in and how hungry i am :) well i now know i must eat them due to 3 hours after lunch being a not so good 2.6! i guess i left a fair bit of carb in those little buggers! My boss, being as amazing as ever got me to sit down and proceeded to get me my lucozade out of the cupboard (note to self - get a better flavoured lucozade!) So i am all good now but probably waaaay overcorrected :p

Right i am off to do some lines....i must eat my crusts...i must eat my crusts....maybe it will sink in this way!


Well despite having an icky cold my levels have been near perfect today, which is strange as i expected them to go right up due to me being unwell! :D i find it very strange! woke up on a nice 4.3 had breakfast which was scrambled eggs so no insulin taken, went to work and had a small snack around midmorning and by lunchtime i was 4.9! after lunch i didnt snack but at around 3pm i was a nice 4.3 so i had a rather sizable piece of birthday cake (birthday at work) i was going to bolus for it when i got home but totally forgot and fell asleep eeeeek!! woke up 3 hours later to a reading of 4.4! Totally confused with this one i think maybe the honeymoon period has something to do with it. (i know i probably spiked high within those few hours sleep but there was obviously something released to bring me back down) So was hungry when i woke up and had some dinner (prawn stirfry yum!) followed by a couple of biccies :) and now i am sitting at 5.7 all in all a good day :) well apart from this stinking cold! :(

Want to shout!

I posted this on a diabetes forum when i was having a tough day, i think i speak for all diabetics when i say that below are a list of things we want to shout out loud on a constant daily basis. It is hard for people who are not diabetic to fully understand what we all go through because you cant really see the pain, as it is on the inside. These things are seen as small to most but they the things we have to think about in order to not become seriously ill.

I want to be able to eat what i want, when i want without thinking about the effects!

i want to wake up in the morning without the first thought being "whats my blood sugar today?" 9.3 WTF!!

I want to be able to go out with my friends to eat and pick anything off the menu and eat whatever i choose until i am full to bursting!

I want to be able to go to bed without a care in the world....

I want to be able to look around my flat and not see that bottle of lucozade by my bedside and all my diabetes stuff on the floor

I want to be able to eat without going through a maths lesson, stabbing my finger and sticking myself with a needle!

I want to be able to go through a day without thinking about the complications i may get

I want to be able to eat chocolate and sweets until i feel sick

I want to be able to fit into my clothes again!

I want to be able to go out drinking and have a good time without constantly worrying if im gonna have a stupid hypo

I want to be normal.....just want to be me again

I do not want this stupid disease any more!!!

In public!

Just thought i would do this quick post!

I did my first injection public! a crowded pub infact! i just thought screw it i'm gonna do this for the rest of my life i may as well get used to it so i did it, dint catch anyone looking and my friends who i was with were brilliant :)

Just hope those profiteroles dont come back to bite me in the bum later.....

A day in the life of......

7:15am - cue needle in the finger ouch! wait 3..2..1..... 4.9 :) or on a bad day 9!!

7:20am - calculate my breakfst carbs which is 2 slices bread = 34g carbs. insulin ratio is 1:10 so thats 3 units of novarapid insulin.

7:30 - First needle of the day and it hurts and bleeds...great! :(

7:50 - Eat breakfast and make lunch for the day

8:30 - Arrive at work to see lovely crossaints/cake/chocolates
someone has brought in for the staff.... :( do i really want to stick myself with another needle so i can have one? No thanks :(

9:00 - Second needle of the day 13 units levemir (background insulin) Bleeds...Grrr!!

10:00 - Prick of the finger to see how breakfast is going down 3...2....1.. 7.7 Goddammit!

12:20 - Another prick of the finger before lunch... 8.8! calulated carbs for lunch earlier 34g for sandwich and 20g apple, but now need to lower insulin dose so i can go to the gym after work so ratio 1:20 = 1.5 unit novarapid.

12:20 - 3rd needle of the day

12:35 - Lunchtime a, soo hungry and enjoy my sandwich and apple :) though could have done with some chocolate as im so used to :(

3:15 - End of work time and going to gym so another annoying finger prick ...10.2 High but needs to be so i can go to the gym as this makes me go lower.

3:45 - after half an hour working out another finger prick and..... 3.5 O crap!!!HYPO feeling shakey and unstable! treat with some glucotabs/jelly babies whatever i have to hand and check again 15 mins later, then have to have some carbohydrate to bring myself up so have not really burned off anything at the gym...again!!

4:30 - another half hour workout and walk back home and with another fingerprick.... 6.5

5:00 - starving after the gym dont want to mess up my levels so have a low carb snack like nuts/meat something like that

7:45 - Time to think about dinner which i decide is chicken stirfry yum! have to weigh out all the noodles to see the carbs in them and prepare everything beforehand. Comes to 50 carbs so thats 2.5 units insulin. Oh and not forgetting to fingerprick...again 3...2...1.. 6.5

8:00 - Fourth needle of the day in the stomach

8:20 - have dinner which was yummy (am discovering i can cook stuff) !!

9:00 - Fifth needle of the day - 13 units levemir (background insulin) in the thigh BRUISE!!

11:20 - Another finger prick (how many is that now? ) 5.4

11:20 - Need to be at least a 7 before i go to bed or i may hypo in the have a few squares of 70% dark chocolate.

1-2am - One final finger prick.... 6.9

Goodnight....until tomoro where it starts all over again!

(and this was a good day)

21st February 2010....D-day

I was so confused laying on a hospital bed and being wheeled to intensive care...all i was hearing was this word 'Diabetes' I had heard of this word but did not know what it meant and was not aware of how this one little word was going to affect me for the rest of my life...

I had been feeling horrid all week! Drinking water and milk by the gallon and going to the toilet too many times to count, mouth was dry and sore throat, i had no appetite and had lost nearly a stone in weight...feeling very tired all the time and not wanting to move from my bed atall i had also been sick the previous day....what a way to end the great half term i was having. I put it down to a virus or a bug (i work with germ monst..sorry i mean children) and went to bed that friday night feeling like death.

Woke up on the saturday feeling even worse than the previous day. i made myself get up and dressed and felt so weak and tired, i knew something was wrong so i got my good friend to take me to A and E just to make sure i was ok. Got seen pretty quickly and done some tests and a discussion with the doctor led to him diagnosing me with 'Gastroitis' or something along those lines...basically severe indigestion. i protested alot as i knew it was more than that but i gave up and figured he was the doctor and he knew what was best, so took my gaviscon he gave me and went back home.

Woke up sunday midday...seriously not feeling good! i tried to get some food down me and also guzzled some lucozade for much needed energy boost (well so i thought at that time) By about 4pm i was feeling so weak i could not even stand up from my bed without holding onto something, my flatmate and our friend were in at the time (thank god) and this led to another trip to the hospital exept i had to be almost carried to the car this time as i could not even hold myself up..i remember falling asleep in the waiting room and then hearing my name being called to be seen...but not alot after that..

I think i managed to collapse in the corridoor and the next thing i remember was laying on a bed several nurses and doctors putting IVs and different tubes into me (including the doctor who misdiagnosed me) and hearing that word diabetes....

Woke up in intensive care with some family members by my side and in pain, attached to several drips including one that was pumping insulin into me like no tomoro! It was only later i understood what a bad state i was in. Apparently i got to the hospital at the right time as all my organs were starting to fail and i was very close to a diabetic coma!

I hated hospital with the daily injections you have to have, i had the works a drip in each arm, one massive hole in my neck with numerous stapled onto it and dangling things coming off it attaching me to various liquids, not to mention the catheter!

I couldnt belive this was happening, there had been no record of any diabetes in either side of the family and i just felt so angry and confused. I spent 3 nights in intensive care and a further 2 in a general ward learning about my life long condition and how to inject myself and about eating right and nutrition given a big box of goodies which included a blood glucose meter, a novapen and other bits and pieces essential to a diabetic. The only thing that kept me sane was the support i got from many friends and family during my stay and i would like to thank everyone for coming to visit me, i would not have got through it without you guys.

Finally i got to leave when they were happy that i could manage by myself, and so i left with various bruises, looking like something been bitten by dracula in a horror movie, i left scared, confused and angry that i now had a condition that would stay with me for my entire life...I had diabetes.

So this is me now...The human pin cushion...

New Blogger!

Hey everyone i thought i would give this blogging business a go as i am often sat at the computer bored out of my mind, and thought i would at least do something productive :) So here is my first ever post as a blogger. i will try to update often but cant promise a post every day as i am very forgetfull! I hope i will turn out to be a good little blogger :)