Ch..ch...changes! Must try harder!!

*hangs head in shame*

Apologies for the lack of blogging, things have been abit hectic, a little depressing, and i seem to have lots of changes coming my way...not all good!

Well the diabetes status hasnt been too great as of late, altho iv had a sticking cold i have managed to get my arse into gear and had my first blood test for ages and made a follow up app with my new doc!

....Not great :( i was faced with high bloods, high cholesterol and high blood pressure, needless to say i was in tears and cant belive i had let myself down so much! so am trying to re invent myself as a better, healthier person and see if i can get much improved feedback later in the year!

Next bad news....my amazing flatmate of four years has been away a month or so and has recently made contact telling me she has no choice but to give in her months notice (i am not angry with her, she had no choice to make the decision)  :( not only will i miss her terribly but now i am faced with a month to either find a new flatmate...or another place to live!  with all the stress i am already under at work and other parts of life, this was a little hard to deal with. luckily my landlords are lovely and after a nice chat with a few glasses (bottles) of wine they assured me everything will be ok and they dont want me to go! They said i was an exempliery tenant :) and if i cant find someone, they will help me to advertise! So now my driving lessons/holiday plans are on hold until i can sort it out before the month is up!

anyways this is just a quickie update ...more coming soon promise!!

My creative side :)

Wow iv just realised how badly i have been neglecting my blog.....so here is a little treat in the form of a poem which is my first one....(insert applause here :p) its about how i think most of us feel on a day to day basis, anyway hope you like it :)

I wonder what life would be without diabetes,
a life free of worry from this dreadful disease.
No weighing of food and counting of carbs,
no more painful jabs with needles full of insulatard.

Imagine not having to squeeze blood on that strip,
and instead eating pik n mix till you feel sick.
Munching big bags of crisps or a whole apple pie,
then not feeling ill coz your blood sugars high.

No more hassle from the diabetes police,
are you allowed that? should you eat that? Yes! just leave me in peace!
Trying not to think of complications as i rest my head,
the energy drinks not seen at the side of my bed.

And as for the doctors dont get me started,
you go for a check up and leave broken hearted.
Oh i wish for one day i could be D free,
To live everyday life being much more happy

But i do my best everyday to live life as full as can be...
because i control this disease, it does not control me.

iBGStar review!

I was really pleased to be one of the first lucky individuals in the uk, to test a brand new blood glucose meter! The iBGStar is the first meter that connects to your iphone or ipod touch. I had heard about it from the forum and so sent an email to the company, got a reply almost straight away telling me they were going to ship one out to me! I was sworn to secrecy and had to sign a confidentiality agreement, turned out it was pretty good timing too seeing as i had just recieved my new iphone 4s :) So it finally got released and on the market yesterday so i am now free to write my review!

First impressions

To be honest i was like a little kid on christmas day when i got the parcel, ripped it open and saw the big shiny box :) The first thing i did was disguard the instructions and went straight for the meter! I was really shocked by how small it was, this thing is tiny which i immediatly thought...Ooh this will be good when i go out for the night as it wont take up so much space in my bag lol. Had a look at the finger pricker...felt a little plasticy and flimsy but i was going to test it regaurdless. It came with two pots of test strips, lancets, and of course all the instrucion booklets and handy case to put it all in.

The meter

The meter itself is a tiny 56mm by 24mm which fits perfectly on the bottom of my iphone. Its really sleek, shiny and has smooth curvy edges, its just beautiful really i cant think of anything that could improve the design. What i like about it is that it works just as well without the iphone so no need to panic if your out and about and run out of battery. When it is on the display is really clear and easy to read, it also comes with a little cap to cover the docking connection if you choose just to use it normally, but i think it works better and you get more out of it when you use it with the app. The meter stores 300 readings which is less than the meter i was using but i think it stores your reading for longer when used with the app. The meter had a rechargable battery and also turns itself off 3 minutes after it was last used which is handy.

Strips and finger pricker

The less said about the finger pricker the better....i personally always stick to my multiclix every time with all my meters just because i like the convienience of not having to change the lancet over all the time, so maybe i am a little bit biased on this point, i just dont like the plasticy, tacky feel of the newer finger prickers, however saying that i was impressed by the size of this one, being very small and discreet, but i will always stick to my multiclix so im afraid to say after trying the new one once, it stayed where is was.

The test strips i noticed are in the pot the other way around to most others, i actualy like the fact when you reach in the pot your not grabbing the end that will have the blood sample on it when you put it in the meter, so your less likely to 'contaminate it' as such (although all good diabetics know to wash thier hands first before... :p ) The strips also only require a measly 0.5 microlitre sample and takes 6 seconds to process.

The App

The app is free and available to download from the app store. Once you have the iBGStar plugged in you can test your sugar which comes up on the screen, you can also input how many carbs you are about to eat and how many units of insulin you are going to give yourself. It also allows you to input hypo and hyper warnings at mmols of your choice, along with offering a notes section where you can choose options such as: too much/little insulin, exercise, unwell, and my favourite one, 'ate fatty food' as well as entering your own suggestions. Your readings are saved and you are able to view averages on different graphs and things like how many tests you have done, how many lows, highs you have averaged, i do like this feature however i prefer to use the meter by itself most of the time, in the event of a hypo i dont think i would be able to get my phone, unlock it with the password, load up the app, plug in the meter and test before it was too late!

Conclusion

Well after using it for a few weeks i really do like it! I like the design, i like the fact it is discreet and i think the thing i like the most is the size. I am going to get the test strips on prescription and i can see myself using this meter for a long time to come :)

Overall i give it a 4/5

Oh and i suppose finding out its on the market for £48 and knowing i got mine for free is an extra bonus lol .....you can purchase yours here :)

Got the job...and one of those days!

You know its going to be one of those days when you wake up late for work! As i got up out of bed, i spilled a glass of water everywhere and then stepped on some of my make-up....by this point i didnt even want to think about what my blood sugars were, sure enough 15mmols Grrrr!!

Took a correction, no breakfast and off to work, day didnt get any better as we were short staffed and it was complete chaos!! My phone decided to die on me even though it had been charging all night and i somehow managed to swallow a fly outside.. Thank god it was a half day i went straight to bed when i got home and stayed there until dinner time lol oh and the freeview decided to break too, what a horrible morning!

Anyway on to the good news.........I got the job!!

Apparently out of the 4 candidates they interviewed, i was the only one to be invited back and i did really well in the interviews! I start of the 12th december, just after my christmas do weekend with the pre-school, so i have decided it has to be a good one, as it was also be my leaving do!! It will be really sad to go and im going to miss everyone so much :(

So i am looking forward to the chistmas do so much, we go away for the weekend to a lovely 4 star hotel, dress up, have a 3 course meal followed by a disco! We did it last year and it was awesome! Also looking forward to hopefully going to london in december for the circle D meet :) Oh and getting my new phone upgrade in a couple of weeks yay! :D

promising changes?

First off, HAPPY WORLD DIABETES DAY FOR YESTERDAY! :D

I may be starting to believe all this about things happening for a reason!

Over the past few weeks iv had alot of things go wrong with a new job lined up to take over my 2nd job! long story short, they totally messed me about, and having already handed in (and worked) my notice of my previous employment, it left me without a 2nd job! So for the past two weeks i have been working part time which as anyone knows does not pay anywhere near enough to live on!

So i thought that i needed to make some changes, and although i LOVE my job at the pre-school i needed to find a proper full time job with decent pay! So although it pained me to do, i joined a recruitment agency and sent of my CV to a private nursery nurse job local to me.....and got a call back the next morning!

Had the inititial interview last week which was really daunting as its been 3 years since i had a formal interview and there were so many questions and scenarios....anyway they seemed really happy and asked me to come back the following week (today!) to do an activity with the children, so thats where i have just come back from and it went really well, got some really good feedback and now i have to wait until tomoro to find out if i am in!! Its a really good position and alot more money :D

So im thinking maybe its a good thing that i was messed around with that job, as it has lead me to take a good look at my life and change it for the better, and maybe if i sort out one aspect of my life, others may follow. speaking of which i have also joined the gym (I say joined, i got a docs referral)..... :)

Although i still dont believe i got diabetes for any reason...that one im still working out :p

Fingers and toes crossed everyone!

Flu jab ...for or against?

Well after having no problems with the flu jab last year i went in for my routine appointment, not expecting to have it there and then but nether the less, the good doctor insisted and all was fine and i forgot about it all.........until a week later!!!

Wow i have never felt so frustrated, angry, upset and ill!! I really couldnt work it out, i was doing everything right, dosing my insulin as normal and eating what i usually eat at the same time etc.. and i was getting readings like 12, 11, sometimes even in the 14's wheras normally they would be in the 5's! I remember at one point i went from 5mmols up to 14 after half a sandwich :o! I did control tests, changed my insulin cartridges and i was still getting the same results! I got so angry and frustrated, blamed myself and just thought well tomoro will be better...but it wasnt and this carried on for 9 days!! I was on half term thank god, as i really dont think i could have worked a week on those levels, i felt so ill and run down, stayed in all weekend and most of the week unable to do anything and scared to eat anything! The highest level (that i knew of that is) was 21 at one point and that did really scare me...i checked for ketones luckily none!

And then it occured to me about the flu jab i had the previous week, could this be the reason? Well i was fine last year? So I posted on the forum, asked friends and co workers and got replies with a range of opinions and answers and found out it had happened to a few diabetics i knew as well, including my friends son, who had experienced the exact same thing as me after his flu jab...Well i felt a bit better knowing that i could actually explain these high readings so just carried on upping my insulin to about 3 times what i would use normally waiting for them to come back down

...and sure enough they did :) It took 9 days but i am finally feeling alot better and back within the normal range :) It actually felt so good to have my first hypo in ages lol

So i dont know what i will be doing next year....is it really worth going through all this again?! i know we should get the flu jab as there is a risk of pneumonia and further complications but i guess i will just have to think about that next year!

long time...no blog!!!

Ummm apologies for the ridiculous lack of blogging...i dont actually think i have an excuse for it!!

Well here is a few updates from me and the D :)

As some of you may know i didnt have the best bank holiday weekend just gone, something happened that lead me to be a bit of a wreck for a few days, cancelled all my diabetic appointments and clinics and just forgot about diabetes really...thankfully my friends helped me get back on my feet and my things are ok now ok...sort of! dont want to go into it too much...

Anyway on to the good! Since iv been on here i have had some progress on my dental situation (thanks to a lifesaving loan from my dad :) )....Although having a near heart attack when he gave me a dental plan coming to nearly £900 (i need to discuss this with him again)I have had my root canals done!!! WOW i can honestly say it was not nice! The actual work itself didn't hurt and a managed to drown out some of the drill noises with music.... but i had 5....yes 5 injections!!! felt them go in...all the way down and i ended up crying in the chair coz it was so painful he did them both at the same time so had basically the whole of the bottom of my mouth numbed for about 5 hours after and felt like my face was massive lol! even my ear was numb, luckily no hypos and no hypers either and the dentist was really nice (even if i couldnt understand some of what he was saying to me...) :)

So i have had the root canal work done (the worst bit) and now have to go back in this wednesday to have them filled which i am hoping will be a little less painful :S

So not in pain any more which i am liking alot! I just have to get the back one extracted tho and then thats it for now (i have other work need doing too apparently but just want to get these out of the way first)

Numbers have been actually pretty good past week mainly in the 5-7 region which i am very pleased and also lost some weight which has lifted my spirits somewhat

So a few ups and downs but now i am thinking positive that i can keep this all up coz i like feeling happy, makes me realise how much i love my friends and family and that im so lucky in other ways oh a small payrise at work also and re booked all my appointments and clinics too.

Until next time....soon i promise :)

x

Formspring...

I have this formspring thing no, sort of like a Q and A! its on the side here ---------->

So feel free to ask me anything..within reason haha x

One year.....

So i have now officially been diabetic for a whole year

I dont quite know what to write but its strange to think that this time last year i was fighting for my life in intensive care having just been diagnosed with this thing known as diabetes, and i would carry this around with me for the rest of my life...

I feel i have come a long way since that day and learnt a great deal. I have had to change and make sacrafices but i think i have come to realise that diabetes IS managable and that i cant let it control my life and take over me. Sure i get high readings and low readings, and readings that i sometimes really cannot explain...but thats diabetes and its all a big learning curve which i am understanding more and more over time.

fact of the matter is that diabetes is a full time job...with that constant fear of future complications which i try not to think about but i do worry what will happen.

So what have i learnt in my first year? what changes have i had to make?

Injecting

Not just learning how to inject myself, no there is alot more involved here....working out how much to give myself and what times of the day, working out my insulin ratios, learning to adjust my insulin if im going to do exercise or am more active. building up the confidence to inject in public, knowing how to dispose of the needle after i have finished, trying to to stick yourself with the needle when you put the cap back on, learning to live with the tiny bruises/marks on my body due to sticking myself with a needle 5 times or more a day...especially when i hit a muscle! :(

Testing

i test before a meal and after a meal so seems simple enough right....not when you take into account that the blood meter usualy has a mmol variation between 2-3mmols...then its not so easy, for example i could test myself on one hand and have a reading of 5, then on the other hand i may be 7....so which level do i inject for? the higher one? may give myself too much inslulin and hypo...the low reading? may give myself too little and hyper! what if im planning some exercise?? that just complicates things even more..so testing...not so simple but i have learned how to deal with it

Carb counting

Apparently i am now a carb freak and nutrition queen! not such a bad thing i suppose actualy quite handy. i have learnt how to carb count and adjust my insulin accordingly...well most of the time, Also taking into account i may need to lower it if i am going to be more active and so on. working out ratios and what foods are good for blood sugars and what foods i should cut back on, not to mention the fat content of what im eating...that just messes everything up!

Oops i think i am beggingin to rant :p

So what about some changes?

Well i now have a kit i carry around with me everywhere and always carry a stash of jelly babies and also a source of carbs.....bit of a pain when going out for the night but i do manage. I also have lucozade by the side of the bed which i hate looking at every morning i wake up but its there...

I suppose the biggest change had been the diet, and i suppose i can class this as a 'good' change...i am eating alot better and also cut back on the weekend drinking as i only drink once or twice a month now which actualy makes me feel alot better!

I have learnt what foods work for me such as i avoid pizza, pasta and bread like the plague as i just cant seem to avoid that late spike and can never get the dose right. I do miss them but not as much as i thought i was going to, maybe if i get a pump i will be able to have these again.

It appears i have become more organised booking blood tests twice a year, eye scans, making health centre appointments for my diabetic screenings, and i think i now reguard the doctors surgery and the chemists as a second home...

Lastly i have made a great network of new friends who have helped and supported me soo much! they have taught me to carb count, help with my inslin worried, hypo situations and just all the little questions i have had have all been answered, i would like to say thankyou to all of you for supporting me, my friends and family too who have all been there for me.

Well i think i have written something productive and maybe even started to rant a little bit oops! sorry but thanks for taking the time to read my blog

until next time..
xx

New year....New start

Let me start by saying happy new year to you all :)

Well it appears i survived my first christmas with diabetes! Although i did think back to the previous christmases.....eating selection boxes for breakfast....nuts, chocolates inbetween meals, then the christmas dinner with all the trimmings...followed by a massive bowl of trifle! (yes i really did eat that much!) :) So this year i decided not to deny myself anything and just go careful...i think i did ok had a few highs which was expected but nothing really major and no lows either which i was happy about, but i did jack up a hell of alot of insulin to compensate!

...So the year of 2011 has started and unlike the previous years i didnt make any resolutions as i dont tend to keep them so there is no point really! My year started ok, im now back at work and it feels good to be back into a routine again, not wasting my days sitting around doing nothing as i am used to lol. I became an auntie in december to a beautiful baby girl called chloe :) who is now just over a month old!

I am feeling alot more positive about this year and decided to start taking better care of myself and looking out for number one for a change, to stop worrying so much and enjoy life without letting the d get the better of me.

The year has gone soo quick and my diabetic birthday is approaching fast, i think i have accomplished alot this year and been through alot....coming out the other side as a stronger person and ready to handle anything thats thrown at me in 2011....so bring it on!!!

2010 review.....

So here is a brief summary of my year 2010....


1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before? Started blogging :)

2. Did you keep your New Year's Resolutions from last year and will you make any for 2011? Nope i didnt make any this year as i never stick to them

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yep, my niece was born on the 5th december :)

4. Did anyone close to you die? Nobody died.....although i could say my pancreas did....

5. What countries did you visit? No holidays this year...:(

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010? More confidence, a better diet, and more will power.....maybe a nice man too? lol

7. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory...and why? 21-02-10 my diagnosis day

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Not sure it counts as an achievement....but having to deal with all the shit i have had this year and coming out the other side as a stronger person

9. What was your biggest failure? I admit to failure...but again have become a stronger person because of it

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Diagnosis of diabetes, syatica, anemia, various colds, bugs, broken teeth...shall i go on?

11. What was the best thing you bought? I dont have the money to treat myself to much lately but i would say my christmas do was worth the money :)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? will have to come back to this one...


13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I can't really answer this

14. Where did most of your money go? Paying the rent and bills, and the food shop....i dont have much money to myself these days

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The thing i was most exited about was my christmas work do with all the girls, and starting the new year :)

16. What song will always remind you of 2010? Oh there is loads...umm i think the song i most danced to was we no speak americano..brings back good memories haha

17. Compared to last year, are you...
...happier/sadder? Sadder in a way having everything to deal with, but things are improving
...thinner/fatter? Put on a bit due to the whole diabetes thing
...richer/poorer? A little richer due to my second job :)

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? talking to people about how i was feeling....not bottling it all up, should of had more fun and not let the D get the better of me

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? worrying and stressing about everything

20. How will you be spending New Year's Eve? I spent my new years eve with good company and a few drinks down the local bar

21. Did you fall in love in 2010? Do shoes count...? then no :(


23. What was your favorite TV program? love come dine with me,inbetweeners, misfits and also catching up on my prison break episodes

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? i dont think i hate anyone - maybe dislike is a better word


26. What was your greatest musical discovery? I wouldnt say i discovered any but i found lots of new artists i like

27. What did you want AND get? A double bed, which i got it for my birthday, and my tattoo :)

28. What did you want and NOT get? I really need some GHDs and am still waiting lol

29. What was your favorite film of the year? Ooo its a tie between inception, shutter island, and kick ass

30. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you? I turned 22 this year and celebrated at wok with a massive slice of cake...and then celebrated with friends at the weekend :)

31. What ONE thing would have made your year immensely more satisfying? Well thats obvious....Mr right lol.... i can dream :)

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010? not sure how to describe it...just casual and me :)

33. What kept you sane? Friends and family

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Omg has to be Mr Jonny Depp (as a pirate ;) ) and channing tatum, dane cook, and of course ben affleck

35. What political issues stirred you the most? everything to do with the recession and credit crunch

36. Whom did you miss? friends who i havent seen in a while because of either losing touch, or moving away

37. Who was the best new person you met? i met lots of great people :)

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson that you learned in 2010. My health comes first before anything else and also to always be myself

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: "do you ever feel like breaking down, do you ever feel out of place, like somehow you just dont belong, and no one understands you" Simple plan - welcome to my life

Snow joke!

Well this was what greeted us when we awoke thursday morning...a complete winter wonderland with 5 inches of snow! I then recieved a phone call and a text from both my work places saying they were closed so i had a snow day! :D

In all the years i have lived in eastleigh we have never EVER had this much snow and also i think the last time we had snow actually in December was more than 20 years ago. It was so nice to go out and enjoy the snow (apart from when i fell over...) and even better when i got another phone call saying the schools were to remain closed so i got two days off work in total :)

Levels were acting strange due to the cold weather as well...lower than usual and i remember one day where i didnt take any of my fast acting insulin.. :o

So the snow days wer cool....but then it all turned to slush and ice at the weekend...pissed down with rain and now its all gone and life returns to normal :(

Ah well it was nice when it lasted and hope you all enjoyed it :)

A Little Bit Longer Music Video

Wow i heard this song for the first time yesterday and i would think it very hard for anyone suffering an incurable disease not to cry to this....Written by the jonas brothers after brother Nick was diagnosed with type one diabetes :(

The diabetes prayer...

So i was looking through the diabetes uk facebook page the other day, looking for anything that would remotely cheer me up.. and came across a post from Zara Haram and it did just that and so i share with you....

THE DIABETES PRAYER

Our banting that art with best,
hallowed be thy insulin.
Our hypos come...thy glucogen,
on the shelf that art in fridge.
Give us this day our pump.
Forgive us these cakes as we forgive who made them.
Lead us not into hospital, but deliver us from DKA.
Yours is the blood test, the HBA1C,
forever and ever,
Insulin pen.

Brilliant Zara you really cheered me up with this - i thank you x

Bad blogger..!!

I hav'nt given up on my blog, i have just been having some tough times as of late...no change there i guess!

So a quick update.....turns out my body doesnt just lack insulin, it also lacks red blood cells! so yeh a recent blood test shows i am anemic and i am taking iron tablets (when i remember..) to combat this...more medication whoopee!!

As for diabetes control i started off well a couple of weeks ago with good readings all day and eating relatively well...then last week it all went totally wrong!!sort of gone to pot a little this week but i shall be better next week hopefully be back on the straight and narrow!

One bit of exiting news is that in the next week i shall become an auntie to a little girl :) (already one day overdue but we are hoping she will arrive soon)

As for me i have been feeling crappy all week due to an icky cold i have picked up which is making my levels a little erratic and also making the syatica play up more than usual. Also due to my day off last week i am already down 60 quid in my december pay packet...so looks like christmas will be celebrated in january next year...

I am trying to think positive about everything i really am its just so hard when u have had so much shit all through your life and nothing good seems to happen...ever! i just need a break...something good to happen is that too much to ask really?

Well thanks for reading and lets hope the next week brings good things (see thinking positive!)

xx

What a difference a millimetre makes..!!

So i had a major mishap last week where my blood sugars were going absolutely mental and i had no idea why! i was eating the same things and injecting the appropriate amounts of insulin yet my pre-meal readings were ridiculously high and despite adding on a correction, the reading was even higher 4 hours after eating! I saw readings of about 15 every day and at one point i think i had to give myself a 16 unit correction just to get below 10mmols! I couldnt understand it so phoned my nurse (about 3 hours after she said she wud call me back..straight away) >:( she suggested that my honeymoon period may have ended and advised me to take extra insulin..which i did and saw no improvent...by wednesday i was pretty ill and had to take the day off work which i didnt want to have to do but i could not work as i was.

The next evening i was out having lunch and realised i had forgotten to pack any needles....um i know bad!! desprately reaching the the bottom of my bag i found one of my old 6mm needles and had to use that.....and hey presto 2 hours later i was hypo!!

So all that hassle just because of 1mm of a needle, i couldnt belive it, obviouslt with my insulin ratios changing the 5mm needles werent delivering the insulin deep enough and so it was like it wasnt working!

So things are sorted now and i am feeling myself again....bit annoyed i now have to use the longer needles but hey i havent really got a choice :)

30 things you may not know.....

Well apparently it is invisible illness awareness week! I diabetes is definately an invisable illness....you cant see it in me...and i certainly dont look ill as many people say once they find out..its one of those illnesses where the pain is on the inside and no one really fully understands it or what you have to deal with emotionaly as well as physically...so anyway i have seen this on a few blogs so thought i would also post my contribution to the 30 questions meme :)

Here goes....

1. The illness I live with is: Type one diabetes

2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 21-02-10

3. But I had symptoms since: only a week before!

4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: my diet...and wardrobe :( oh yea and sticking myself with a needle 5 times a day for the rest of my life

5. Most people assume: that i cant have sugar!

6. The hardest part about mornings are: testin my blood sugar to find out if today will be a good day or a horriffic day, wondering if im going to break another tooth or when my back pain is going to kick in!

7. My favorite medical TV show is: dont really watch them

8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: diabetes related - my contour usb, non diabetes related - my blackberry :)

9. The hardest part about nights are: tryin to kick my late night munchies habit and going to bed on normal levels

10. Each day I take __ pills & vitamins. (No comments, please) just the one pill

11. Regarding alternative treatments I: I think they are a load of bollox and people who promote them shoud all go and jump off a bridge! oh yes drink this magical potion of fish oils and grapefruit and you will be cured!!

12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: well i would prefer to choose neither but i guess invisible..

13. Regarding working and career: doesnt tend to effect me even though the jobs i have are fairly demanding.

14. People would be surprised to know: that most people i look at..i envy....i envy their freedom and the fact they can do what they want without a care in the world and not having to think about or deal with the consequences...and it makes it worse when i think that i was once like them...

15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: Accepting the fact that i have this for life and its not going away..there will never be a day off from this illness and i can never get away from it.

16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: inject myself...i think that was the initial feeling of shock upon diagnosis..i hated needles!! also getting my tattoo i dont think i would of had the incentive to get it done :)

17. The commercials about my illness: get turned off...just makes me think that i caused it with my poor lifestyle and diet...erm no actualy i got a stuid virus that was not my fault!

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: buying a £4 pik n mix and eating it throughout the day lol

19. It was really hard to have to give up: snacking throughout the day....i used to graze on food and not really have a square meal

20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: blogging :)

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: have what i want, when i wanted it

22. My illness has taught me: to appreciate the little things in life and what you have becoz u never know when it could be taken away from you

23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: "are you allowed that"? "should you be having/doing that"? Argh! oh and the classic..."i wouldnt be able to do that" ummm well if you want to live you would!

24. But I love it when people: treat me like a normal person and dont miss me out when passing round something sugar-laden :)

25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: "that which doesnt kill us, makes us stronger"

26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: that they are not alone

27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: life goes on..iv been through an awful lot and think i have become stronger and accomplished things that i didnt think i could do

28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: visit me in hospital and brought me a ton of magazines to read and a very heartwarming letter :)

29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: i think people need to become more aware of these illnesses and become more educated so that they can better understand them

30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: like im not alone and i have raised some sort of awareness to someone

:)

same old story....

Finally back on the internet - stupid Virgin Media!!

Cant belive its september already....been back at work now for two weeks and its actually good to get back into the work routine and doing some much needed exercise haha!

I have found my ratios have changed and i now need alot more insulin than i used to....even foods that have no carbs i need some insulin for...i think my honeymoon period may be finally over :( have been having alot more hypers lately but i am eating alot better i think.

Things were going well..until today..went to the docs as my back has started to play up again and turns out i have a syatic nerve which is causing me alot of pain all day and night! Well he also said that the diabetes may be contrubuting towards it and wants me to do blood tests next week to find out and then i may be reffered to a physiotherapist :(

So once again just when things have been going ok for me, iv been kicked to the ground again! im trying to be positive i really am just its hard when things like this happen on top of everything else im having to deal with already

Time flies.....

Well its been 6 months today since the big D....not quite sure how i feel except a little sad and thinking about my old life...even though i know i shouldn't as this makes me more sad..!

So i am being positive now...i think i have accomplished a fair bit in my first 6 months. i have learnt to carb count, work out ratios - including setting my basal rate and splitting it, inject and test regularly - also in public, and got a fairly decent AIC result :) i have dealt with a fair few emotions and managed to come to terms with my diagnosis, i have educated others about diabetes and hopefully have raised some awareness that was not there before, i have even had the privilege of meeting some lovely fellow diabetics and hope to meet many more along the way :) i have had some good days and some awful days and i am continuing to learn more and more each day.

I have a great support group online as well as my friends and family and i dont know what i would do without them. The support group have helped me soo much in these 6 months, answering every question i have had, big or small and whatever time and i am just so lucky to have people who help and more importantly understand. My friends and family have been fab and although sometimes they dont fully understand the illness and what im going through, they stick by me and support me no matter what i am am really thankful to have such lovely people in my life :)

So im going to admit that i havent been the best diabetic these past few weeks, my levels have been...ok i think i need to sort my evening ratios out a little as i always seem to end the day above 10 and have to correct before bed. But i think this is all to do with me being off for the 6 weeks summer holidays as i have not been at work, therfore not active at all really, and totally out of routine! not been eating the best things and slipping back into my old habits :( I think things will start to improve when i go back to work and settle back into my old routine, infact im sure they will!

Well..6 months gone...lets see what the next 6 will bring :)

Worth it... :)

1 hour and 20 mins of pain....and here is the result!

I never thought i would be brave enough to get a tattoo! i had always wanted one but never got the courage to go through with it and i cant belive i did it!

I was shaking like a leaf when i went, had butterflies and was so nervous...i felt a little better however as my wifey came with me, even though they didnt let her actually come with me (not too happy about that) she waited for me in the shop for 2 hours bless her!

The tattoo itself i am soo pleased with, it means so much to me as it has the date i was diagnosed and also the diabetes ribbon encorporated into the centre! the guy who did it was really nice and reassuring, always asking if i was ok and chatting away to me, he asked about my diabetes and i told him the story and he just made me feel really at ease :)

And the big question your all asking...did it hurt? in a word....YES! lol but as the title says it was sooo worth it!

I would like to say a massive thankyou to Sue, as without her i would not have been able to have this done :)